Project: Unity of Self Marriage of the Inner and Outer Goddess and God.

Project:

Unity of Self

Marriage of the Inner and Outer Goddess and God.

Copyright © 2013 Anthony P Pauly Jr & Gathering of Butterflies Productions

  

To My Dear Friends and Spirit Family,

Several years ago at one of the events I attended, I sat in circle with several of my spiritual sisters around me. While sitting there in the conversation of spirit mates came up and that whole vast subject surrounding the phenomena that we have all in our own unique way become familiar with. It was while sitting there during the very short versions of the stories the ladies were telling me, that I realized I wish to hear more about their experiences in greater detail.

In that short window of spiritual communion with my sisters, a dream awoke within me to bring those stories into greater public awareness in a way that respected the dignity and honored the sacredness of the experiences.

I not only wanted to hear those stories in great detail, but I also felt strongly compelled by the idea that there are probably many people in the world that could benefit greatly by the mirrors reflected in the imagery and the power and passion that stories such as this could contain. So I've spent the last two years, sitting with it, thinking about it, and dreaming it.  So now, after a wonderful opportunity presented itself to me, I disclosed my vision and ambitions to one of my sisters in that circle.  

Just a short while ago in Philadelphia, she and I had an opportunity to sit down with her partner and I shared the story of this idea and how it came to be alive within me. I told her how I wanted to write a book compiling the stories of around 20 men and women from our circle of graduated, ministers that have gone through the marriage ceremony. From her enthusiastic support and instant willingness to participate and dedicate her stories to this project, I have decided to go ahead and formulate a proposal that I am going to release to our community.

I realize that these experiences are exceptionally personal and no person reading them is going to fully understand what you as individuals went through to find and marry your inner Goddess and God, (Spirit Mate). If after reading this proposal, you are interested in participating, feel free to contact me at the phone number or email listed at the bottom of this document. Also feel free to forward this proposal to any one you know who’s has had similar experiences in their lives.

That said, I know that for some it is a lot to ask. This project is being offered openly with the greatest respect and gratitude for courage shown for those who are interested. My intent is to explore this important part of our ancient human experience. Because Self Marriage has had a tremendous effect on my life, I envision a more expansive public debate and conversation about the internal unity of male and female archetypes inside the human soul. Conversations such as this seem to be a rare occurrence and may help to heal our world in amazing ways.  

As I mentioned above I want to write a book compiling the intensely sacred and important stories of around 20 women and men that describes the circumstances, magic, power, and healing surrounding their self marriage with their internal male or female counterpart. For those of you that have had this kind of experience I ask only that you spend some time with the questions I have proposed and will propose in this letter. Don’t rush to an answer, take your time. Think about this part of ourselves, this part we have referred to as (Spirit Mate) and what that means to you. How does knowing this alternate reality, affect your life? How may it benefit others who will be and are searching, maybe without realizing it, to answer questions they have had sleeping within themselves for many years. We as a community may be able to help them find words for those unspoken feelings, and in finding a way to see their own depths they may better realize the sacredness of their own souls and it unrealized vast potential.

I know most of you have looked at this quite a lot. However, it seems prudent to cover some thought points about the topic. In most cases if we are male in body our inner goddess (Spirit Mate) is a female. If we are female in body our inner god (Spirit Mate) is male. There may be variations on this rule, so be open minded.

The underlying principle is that when we come into unity with that other part of ourselves we move into relative balance.

The stories are going to be broken up into two main parts.

Part 1:

The first part of the story will be an introduction into the life and experience of the storyteller, that describes who he or she is and where they come from in their life. This first portion of the story need not be long and it certainly doesn't need to be a 120 page biography. What I would like to see is a relatively concise honest bio of where the storyteller has come from in their life and where they are at this point in time. Obviously as the storyteller, you would have the right to choose how much you want to share and what is appropriate for you. Remember, there are only going to be so many pages in this book so be concise. Also as the story teller you have the option of limiting personal info if you wish. Your privacy is sacred to me and I won’t ask you to disclose anything you chose not to.

A.      Along with this first section after the introduction of the storyteller, and their life. Then they will begin to move into telling the story of how they came to be aware of the reality surrounding the experience of the Spirit Mate in their lives.

B.      Let me go into a little bit more detail about how I would like this to look. You will be essentially telling the story from the perspective of your physical self, whether you are male or female. If you are male, you will be telling the perspective from your male energy, the male half of your spirit mate which is your physical embodiment of your body. If you are female, you will be telling the story from the perspective of your female physical self, which is the female physical embodiment of your body. To explain this, a little bit more simply. You are going to be telling the story from the perspective of what you remember occurring in this physical incarnation, whether it be, from dreams, visions or meditations. How did your spirit mate reveal him or herself to you? What do they look like? How did they make you feel when you first came into contact with him or her? Do they have a name? How do they feel to you? How do they teach you? How has this internal relationship grown over time? Is your spirit mate different from the basic description I laid out above? Do they reveal themselves to you in a way that is neither male nor female? Tell the reader any other relevant information so that they can best relate to your experience if at all possible.

C.      One point to consider, as you go about formulating your story. Each and every person who encounters this experience will do so in a way that is completely and totally unique to that individual and their spiritual path. No two peoples’ stories are ever going to be the same and unfold in a predictable manner that follows and falls within expectations. I anticipate that the unexpected will occur in the stories, and that I will hear things about the spirit mate relationship that I have never encountered before. And this is exactly what I'm hoping will happen.

D.      It seems prudent to mention now. If you wish to use terminology that is different than (Spirit Mate) feel free to do. I ask only that you provide a clear explanation of what the words mean to you.

E.       Lastly for this first section, part 1, I want to remind all of you of something that I'm sure you already know. But I just want to put it into clear terms, and reiterate it so that all of my i’s, are dotted and t’s crossed. One of the universal principles behind the Self Marriage or Unity of Self Marriage of the Inner and Outer Goddess & God experience, as I have learned it, is that our inner Goddess or God will formulate itself into a form that reflects our essence, our truth and balances us spiritually so that we may grow and mature, fully, as spiritual beings.

F.         One of the components of good story telling is to incorporate the five basic senses. Taste, touch, sound, smell, and sight. Being that this is a shamans tale also consider how you may include the sixth sense of inner experience, ie intuition, instinct or other variations of this.  

Part 2:

Part two of the story gets into a bit more of unknown territory.

In part two. You are going to tell the story from the perspective of your Inner Goddess or God. Your job as the storyteller and the writer is to put their voice on paper. I want you to tell the story of their history, their past, their dreams, their hopes, their sorrows and their vision of what they hope you as the physical embodiment of themselves will learn and do in your lifetime. Tell us about what they have learned from you. Tell us about the love they have for you. Be creative, be adventurous, and take some risks. Trust yourself and be honest.

The basic outline, as I described it above is what I'm looking for, however, as the storyteller I want you to feel free to take whatever creative license you wish. So long as the basic outline and its expectations are met. I'm asking you to follow this outline for the purpose of easing the readers ability to connect with and learn from the sacredness of your experience. Please remember there may likely be many people encountering this book that have very little foundation or background with this type of experience.     

As the writer it is our responsibility to choose our words in a way that allows the story to be approachable for the reader. If at any point in your story at the beginning or the end or even in the middle you wish to incorporate poetry, feel free to do so. I adore poetry. I enjoy it so very much and I like to incorporate it in many of the pieces that I write. But I leave that option up to you.

So now that I've explained that there's going to be a part one and part two of each person’s story from the perspective of not only their physical selves, but also the perspective of their Inner Goddess & God. I also want to give you an idea of how long it should be. As the writer, I am hoping that you may be able to limit the length of the stories that you tell to 12 standard 8 x 11 pages. If you can do it in less that would also be acceptable and much appreciated because it will help to limit the size of the book. But if you must tell a small bit more do so and remember if I have questions or I need revisions done I will bring this up to you once your contribution is submitted.

As the author of the book, I also, will be contributing a part one and part two of my own experiences surrounding my own self marriage and how she has affected my life. I will also be telling the story that my inner goddess has to tell from her perspective.

As the facilitator of the project, I am hoping to receive a balanced number of submissions from both men and women that have gone to the marriage ceremony. Please email them to me in a windows format. Just so that I'm clear all persons wishing to contribute to this project may do so.

Obviously with any publication that has submissions from multiple independent sources. There may be a necessity for me, as the author and my editing crew to correct punctuation, spelling errors or grammatical errors that may have occurred prior to the material being sent to me. I am making a clear commitment to the courage and generosity of the contributors. I will do my best to keep the content of your submissions as verbatim as possible. It is not my intention. Nor is it my wish to alter your words and the intent of your story in any way.

I ask that you refrain from using copyrighted material unless you provide written permission from the author or the author’s representatives. If I do not get this documentation I will not be able to use that portion of your submission. I may have to request that the submitter clarify or adjust areas of their story. If there should be any issues with the way the words flow and read for the reader.

As with any publication project of this type, there is always a certain degree of back-and-forth co-creation that occurs in a publication of this form. Thank you for understanding, thank you for your interest, and if you do submit a contribution, thank you so very much from the depths of my heart for helping me to bring this dream into reality and manifestation. I am certain that each and every one of the stories that goes into the final publication, will without a doubt, be absolutely remarkable. I am confident that they will contribute to the inspiration and growth of countless spiritual beings that are looking to find words wisdom or experience from kindred spirits.

If you want to talk to me directly about this project and have question, don’t hesitate to call or email me.

Unity of Self, or Self Marriage is a marriage by a person to himself or herself resulting in the unity of the male and female aspects of a soul. Self-Marriage is a commitment to radically honor, value, and practice self-love and self-compassion for all the parts of ourselves in order to live a better life and help minimize the collective suffering of the world, one human experience at a time. It may become a social movement and or a daily practice acknowledging that we are in a relationship with ourselves, first and foremost. It is based on the question "if you were in a relationship with someone who treated you the way you treat yourself, would you choose to stay in this relationship?"

Self-Marriage has four components:

1. Becoming your own lover, best friend, and parent/child
2. Connecting with and committing to your deeper purpose
3. Uniting all the contradictory and conflicting aspects of yourself
4. Harmonizing your external relationships and circumstances

 The paramount challenge of our age and for our species survival is distilled with the following words. The next step in our collective human evolution is the necessity for balancing the male and female aspects within ourselves first and then in the world around us. If we fail to do so there will be no future to pass to our decedents because we will be extinct.

                                                                                                --Anthony P Pauly Jr, Jan 2013

Anthony P Pauly Jr & Gathering of Butterflies Productions.

P.O. Box 1114 · Stowe, Vermont 05672, U.S.A.

Tel: (802) 324-5769

E-mail: Anthony.pauly_jr@yahoo.com · Internet address: www.gatheringofbutterflies.com

Copyright © 2013 Anthony P Pauly Jr & Gathering of Butterflies Productions

A doorway is a unique aperture in life. The very act of stepping though it, is very much not only a symbolic representation of stepping into the unknown, but an actual unknown. It can take a second or an eternity to make that step. Each doorway is different. Sometimes we are blessed to see what resides on the other side. In other moments however, we are blinded. Our vision is veiled. The uncertainty of this porthole can be a terrifying or maybe even joyful. Despite all this, doorways like life are inevitable. We can either walk threw them by conscious choice, or fate will push us over the threshold. It is up to us if we stand tall on the other side or fall into despair.  ---Anthony P Pauly Jr Gathering of Butterflies Productions ©2012

Who is Your Teacher?

I was asked today if I study under any Lama or teacher. After some thought I have come to see that there is a part of every human, in some aspect of time and space that is a Buddha. They are all reflections of the Buddha like divinity that resides within my soul. Because we are all one and the same it can be said with honesty that I am my greatest teacher because I am learning from all the parts of myself. ---by Anthony P Pauly Jr Dec 8th 2011 copy-rite

Dreaming With the Goddess of Water and of Fire

Dreaming With the Goddess of Water and of Fire

It is cool outside and the air is beginning to speak of fall and the time of sleep to come.

Life is moving quickly to horde away its food stores and sap.

I can hear the dripping of dew and condensation from the metal roof of the house I live in.

It has been raining slowly all night and the earth is damp and rich, the sounds of the last few crickets and caydidids merge with those of the frogs and toads. Reaching my ears and lulling me to sleep.

It was late last night that I finally fell into slumber after having lusty thoughts pass through my mind mixing with the cogitations of the media and news I had devoured during the day.

My body was tired as was my mind as I lay there drifting away. I had worked so much through the day striving to get the odds and ends done so that they could be finished and my awareness of their unfinished agendas would come to be rested.

With this field of energy around me I went into the unknown and I began to dream.

My dreams were vast and oh so mixed up. Images and landscapes merged with my interacting consciousness to and for experiences that I would scarcely remember on waking.

At the time in the dream as it washed over me and I was consumed by it the things I saw before seemed all important, each one more so than the last.

Then out of someplace hidden and unknown to me I saw a glimmer of warmth and a glow of luminescence.

I moved towards it in a way were there was no movement. It was as if I had dissolved into being present in that place. I had dissolved into having a form and a body I could feel.

I was dissolved and formulated at the same time, what kind of a feeling experience could this have been?

As the glowing light warmth grew to encompass the vastness before me it filled the whole horizon of my periphery.

It was as if I was looking at an ocean of warmth and suppleness... Then it began to move...

Ripples of sound bounced off the surface of this ocean of warmth and rocked it like the wind.

That is when I realized that I was looking out onto an ocean of water, far more vast than any I could have imagined. It was a universe of water before me as if the very spirit of water’s vastness had come to meet me at the shore of some sandy beach that was outside of any world that was made physical.

I felt the presence of great power here and I instinctively knew that I needed to find a place of respect and receptivity.

When I found it the water began to change. The warmth was becoming a great heat. The water was beginning to boil like the surface of the sun. The water the wettest substance in my world was on fire.

Water and fire had merged and had entered into me and filed me with its self. Or was it always that way and I had never noticed it until now?

That feeling inside of me reached out and began to interact with the vast waters and the waves of enflamed water began to grow and rise up. The height of them was astounding and I was almost moved to great fear.

I had a sense that I was dreaming so the fear never took hold as it may have should I have been in my physical body. In my dream I knew without having to think it, that there was no harm that could come to me from any of what I was seeing. Yet I was excited by the waves and my emotions stirred.

The waves grew wilder and larger reaching heights into the sky that seemed to touch the threshold of space itself! The stars reached down with their beams and rays and added their songs to the fire water that danced in wild powerful untameable torrents before me.

Then before my eyes as if I was in some science fiction movie with great effects one wave in the water began to create form from itself. Streaming up into the sky river like it formed a massive pillar of liquid currents and fire.

Watching it I could feel the power of conciseness emanating from it. I could feel how alive it was. I knew it was greatness, a manifestation of power itself.

Then as I was exploring my connectedness to it there out of the pillar I began to see the outlines of shapely legs and knees. These were the legs of a woman not a man. These were the legs of a Goddess of great significance and dignity.

Before me her body formed and then as it did so the waters of fire moved to clothe her in streaming vestments and robes. The wind began to blow fiercely now and it seemed that it would tear her apart but it too merged with the power of this Goddess and it pressed her robes against her as if she had been a priestess standing in her delicate white garments out in a storm.

  

She was drenched from head to toe and the wind plastered the vestments to her form so firmly that I could see every contour of the monolith that she was.

The view of my eyes began to move up her form as if I was straining to look up into a giant tree, starting from the roots to the highest branches.

I chose, (because I knew I needed to), to turn off my usual sensual responses. She was so lovely in a way I could not comprehend that I knew if I gave way to my desires I would be destroyed by this.

I scanned her calves and then her knees, then her thighs that were plastered with the wind blown garments. Oh, she was lovely! Oh, what was this that I was witness to?

I scanned past absorbing every fine detail of the movements of the water within her. She was, despite the fact that she was clothed, transparent. All the fire around her in and on the ocean waves reflected trough her and from within her. This was all beyond my comprehensions and imaginings.

Then as my awareness moved up the trunk of her body I could see with no need for imagination the shape of her vulva with the garments pressed to her there. I could see the shadow in the fold of her skin. Still I held to my place of inner silence and witness. My emotions did not betray me to a fool’s death.

Higher yet my eyes moved and I could see her rippling strong abdomen and belly. The whole of the universe was alive inside of her and she dreamed it the as a great light. Radiating out in every direction like a falling star’s beams, the rays of it hitting me in the eyes past the splashing waves and water allowed the shaft of luminance to pass in my direction.

It felt to be a kaleidoscope of strobe pulses effecting changes in me. Her light was affecting the light inside of me; there was no real sense of disconnection. I felt I was a part of her even though I was looking at her.

Then I looked even past this area of her belly and I could see her breasts and her lungs as she breathed in the universe around her. She breathed in the sky the water and the fire of the stars. All of it adding to her power and vitality.

That is when I looked up into her eyes and face. My passions at this moment could not be quelled any longer. Her eyes were just too much to ignore. I felt for just a second desire for her, and with that she swung the flaming sword she held in her left hand towards me with one arm. The sash of fire and water she held in her right hand bellowed and blew infinitely around and past her in the wind. Without a moment’s hesitation this Goddess had killed me with her power on all levels.

I was awake in my bed and it was still dark out. I lay there alone wondering about the Goddess who had just killed me.

  

Anthony P Pauly Jr and Gathering of Butterflies Productions © copy write 2011

The Marriage of Self to Self ©

The Marriage of Self to Self

Dear Friendship

You woke up this morning dreams still in your chest.

Feeling the same old feelings you are looking for something new.

Why when I walk or sit, do I feel as if I lean more to one side?

When my eyes are closed?

Some time ago did you realize that some thing felt like a whole inside?

As if someone wasn't there?

It must have been powerful when you could see that the someone was a part of you?

That he or she was you. A me.

All our lives we look out into the world for someone to be joy for us, our Goddess or God.

And indeed we do find joy interacting with lovers, friends, family, and our children.

But how many tears have fallen onto the pages of our life, when time washes them away.

Still we crave. Crying lonely in the night. Tear puddles are our companions.

Coming over when there is no other. Lighting candles for warmth of heart.

This simple truth finds us even if we wont give her a name.

When there is no one else and all else has gone away.

We must face ourselves, that other half of us.

We can't run away from Me.

One day I woke from a dream and I knew the name of my own Femininity.

Her name (is) Caroline, she is made of Spirit and light. She likes to ware masks.

I have seen her looking through the eyes of many of my teachers.

She is not manifest, but is in fact the aspect of my self that is female.

It was in these dreams that she and I were married to each other.

It was a marriage of self to self.

My physical maleness unified and united to my feminine spirituality.

It was because of the love for Caroline who is myself, that I learned how to sing the song of light.

If you are a woman what is the name of your maleness?

If you are a man what is the name of your femininity?

Who is this Goddess or God within you that cries to be heard.

Do you remember that you are your greatest teacher,

that no one will ever love you as much as you can love yourself?

When you wake up in the morning how many days of each year are you in love with yourself.

I have had more days than I can count where I have forgotten to feel this kind of love.

More days in fact, of no love than days with it. Is this familiar to you?

I must be clear that conceitedness is not the same as self love.

Self love is seeing the divine withing your very life force, connecting you with all things.

Seeing in this way is wisdom not pride.

If your wish is to find balance in the world between the male and the female,

as a seeker you must first recognize and create a space within you for this birth to happen.

Only when it is within will it manifest in the world.

Today let us talk and dream our wisdom into being.

Let us all, even us men nourish the womb so that the child of light within can be born.

For us to grow spiritually we must as individuals learn this art.

As a world of people we must become very direct and forward about this reality.

There is no place else to run, we must unify or this dream will end.

I truly feel that we will succeed even if it does not look that way.

Spirit can not be destroyed. We are made of Spirit, so what dose that say?

To all of you that are also me I love you. 

 

No part of this transcript can be copied or reproduced in any form without expressed written consent from the author Anthony P Pauly Jr.  © 2010

The Spiritual Truths & Lesons Animals Teach Us Nov 25 show trascript

Good evening every one this is Saturday evening and you are listening live to The Dream Shaman Radio Show with me your host Anthony Pauly Jr. This program is being streamed live to you from the Radio network. I want to give a great big hello to all of you. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I am excited to bring you this week’s instalment of the show.

And for those of you who celebrated this Thanks Giving Holiday I hope it was a lovely time with your family loved ones and friends. I myself had a wonderful time spending the evening with some good friends here in the North West Green Mountains of Vermont. Some of them may be listening this evening and I just wanted to give a shout out to ya’ll. You know who you are.

Well it is getting cold up here in the northern latitudes and the crisp air is keeping us all in a little more. This is beginning to be the time of year where we find ourselves hibernating and dreaming a lot more. Well at least I do. Like the great Dreaming Bear we will soon be dancing on the windy currents of chilly air and snow covered hillsides with all of the myriad of crystalline water Gems.

There is a lot going on in the world. Some of it according to the news headlines is not so cheery. There seems to be a lot of shifting and challenge in the lives of many out there. The world can be a scary place some days but tonight I plan to bring to you a lighter side of things. I want to move us to a place of genuine thanksgiving and gratitude. I truly believe, that if as many of us found something to be grateful for in life, we would find fewer reasons for conflict. Take that as my weekly bit of advice. Find something, anything to be grateful for each day. You will be surprised how it will change your life.

So getting onto topic,

This week’s show is going to be about the Spiritual Truths & Lessons Animals Teach Us.

The First and most important question that I want you to think about during tonight’s show is this.

(Have you ever learned spiritual truths or lessons from an animal? Any animal at any time in your life?)

And if so what is that lesson and if asked to would you tell the story, or is it something so personal that you would keep it to yourself. If you chose to tell it, could you explain it to someone else? And would you be interested in sharing it with all of us.

Some of the thoughts you may want to consider to clarify this question for yourself are these.

Has an animal, (weather a pet or a wild animal), taught you about humour, gratitude, joy, survival, or courage?
Have you learned the path of self forgiveness, or unconditional love for the animal yourself or for others from an animal?
Has the spirit form or symbolic reference to an animal or multiple animals helped you in your dreams to understand personal truths?

Or has an animal intervened in your life, and in the process of being an involved influence helped to bring healing when you were suffering or when you were in pain?
Has an animal demonstrated loyalty and protected you from danger?
Did this animal sacrifice its life for you?
Have you continued to feel the presence of an animal, which has died?

You can start to see with my questions were I am going with this.
And I am certain that there are many more questions that we could ask ourselves. And I want you to be fully aware that this program is a safe place and I want you to feel absolutely free to do so, because I and so many of the other listeners would love to hear your story.

So my dear listeners, once again do you have any stories like this to tell us?
If so, telling it would be a way of teaching and sharing with this wide and diverse online radio community. Think about it, your story may help someone to understand better an event like yours that happened to them. From my standpoint and I hope that from the standpoint of your fellow listeners, that it would be an amazing and glorious privilege to hear it.

So please do so if you feel called to...... call into the show and tell us your stories.

I am brining this topic to you because this past week I was inspired by a very magical event in my own life. And I’m going to tell you about it in just a moment. But before I do I want to add that in my life there have been three situations with animals that have had great meaning for me.

The first situation was the emergence of fascination with Lepidoptera also known as the Butterflies and Moths. Butterflies have been a part of my life for so very long that I can scarcely think of a period of time when I was not learning about them. I will get more into this in a bit.

The second situation is one that involves honey bees. Many years ago I had a very powerful spiritual dream about the honey bee. It was as far as I am concerned a Medicine Dream. This is a type of dream that is in the higher order of spiritual dreams. It is the type of dream that acts like a road map of one’s life. This one that I had was just that for me.

In the dream I was flying around in the sky when I came across some power lines on very tall towers. They blocked my path but for some reason instead of trying to avoid them I realised I was dreaming and I flew at them intentionally. Flying into them I grabbed hold of them and I was electrocuted. But because I knew it was a dream I held onto the wires until they had no effect on me.

When I let go I started to fly very fast until I was flying East over some swampy land. In the middle of the swamp there was a park and some grassy raised area with a rotted tree stump standing there. I flew into the tree stump and found that there was a hive of honey bees there. I had some instinctive understanding enter me that told me they chose the location because of a magnetic felid that was used by them for navigation. I latter discovered that this was a behaviour and sense that many scientist thought honey bees had. And further more they thought that the magnetic field was used for navigation.

Tying into last week’s show about Lucid Dreaming, Precognition, and cyncronicitys, this was a dream that had all three characteristics. This dream was one of my first real Lucid Dreams and also one of my first Precognitive Dreams.

I had a dream about finding honey bees and power lines. And I was aware that I was dreaming.

My next stamen is a key point about lucid dreaming you will want to remember.

In a dream being lucid or aware of being in the dream, is a symbolic representation of becoming lucid to the reality that this physical realm we live in, is a dream.
It is illusory and some day we must wake up from it and realize that we are in fact dreaming. Becoming enlightened is the act of realising that this reality is a dream. It is a dream that we need not get stuck in. So key point is don’t get stuck in the dream and illusions.

Just a few months ago I had a conversation with my landlord about wanting to raise honey bees. Less than 48 hours later I was wandering around the yard. In a completely absent minded meandering I walked to the side of the wood shop to look at a red tool box. Suddenly I saw all this movement and I heard a humming noise. I looked around the corner and there in the wall of the shop was a honey bee hive. Less than two days after I inadvertently asked Great Spirit for one. Oh and this is where the cyncronisity comes in. There was a set of power lines right over the shop were the hive is, and the land is all swamp like in that part of the property. Also to get to the property you can only go east.

My Dream told me of this day and what I would find. It also told me about how my life would be. I was lucid in the dream and now I am becoming lucid about whom I really am. I am waking up from the dream.

How is this happening in your life?

The third situation is with my beloved former fat yellow cat. I found him in a humane shelter one day and he came to me and practically crawled up my left leg. He and I became great friends and were inseparable. He was a protector and guide for me.

In regards to all of the questions I asked earlier. He taught me all of them. And yes he saved my life and my sanity to some degree. He helped me deal with many a broken heart, and with many years of depression and dark almost suicidal thoughts. I lost him one day due to a collision with him and some car. He was very ill before then and he had a severe intestinal disease. I guess getting hit by the car was faster than a slow death. When he died in 07, he took with him all of those depressed broken hearted parts of myself. I have never really been back to that place since.

That fat yellow cat was my best friend and he was so loving and warm. I could not let myself dishonour his life by feeling self pity. He had given me a gift. His illness and death opened a door for me that a year later I was able to walk through. That door led me to Vermont and to this very night where we are sharing stories. Had he been alive I would not have been able to walk through that door. He gave his life so that I could know freedom and unconditional love.

Just last week I dreamed of him but unlike all of the other dreams he was in a different body. He was gray and white and female. In the dream I knew it was him because he had the intestinal illness. It was a symbolic reference to his last days. Just a few days after that dream on Sunday I decided to go look at kittens at a farm down the street. The first kitten that I saw was one that was just like the female in my dream. She walked right up to me sat at my feet and looked me in the eye. I knew those eyes but I said nothing at the time. Those were the eyes of my beloved friend he had found a new body and he came back to me. And just like he used to when he was in the body of the fat yellow cat he dreamed with me telling me where I could find him when he was lost.

This little girl is a princes and she is haughty and feisty just like him. Most of her behaviours are exactly the way he once acted. The only exception is now he who is a she is very girly. Everything else is the same.

As far as the butterflies they have been in my dreams for years. They have led me to relationships with all of the most significant women of my life. I have dreamed about all of these women before I met them. And with many the butterflies have been in the dreams, also showing me where to go.

Many times I would in my dream ask, “Spirit of the Butterfly show me what you want me to see?” Then it would fly away and following it I would inevitably meet a woman in the dream and she would look and act just like a woman I would meet in real life not to long after.

Butterflies are symbolic of transformation and metamorphosis. It is innocence and trust. It is a very powerful totem and requires a gentle heart before it will be a guide. The butterfly chooses who to help not the other way around. It is representative of the feminine in many ways.


Little Sisters

Blessed are the little butterflies,
who have comforted me and led me home.
Beings with shiny wings who kiss me in my dreams,
and let me rest my head upon their laps.
I will push out of this old world skin of primordial protein chaos.
I will spread my wings.
I am remembering my song.
It is the fluttering of wings,
and the chiming of crystals.
It is the fluttering of my heart when I see the eyes of my lover.
When I am held in her arms,
and she helps me take off my mask.

-Rainbow Bridge
(Anthony Pauly)



My Best Friend is Was Fat Yellow Cat

I woke up one morning and I lay in my bed day dreaming.
The rain on roof was dripping onto the patio creating a staccato drum beat.
I was relaxed and remembering the dream that had awoken me.
I dreamed that I was playing with a large white cat.
He looked like Snow and that was his name.
I had seen him five days before at the shelter.
I couldn’t make up my mind as to whether to take him home with me that day.
Snow had crawled onto my shoulder as if that was the place to rest.
That day five days before he suckled on my ear, begging me to listen to his spirit.
I left him there undecided.
Sadly when I came back he had already been chosen and went home with someone else.
Feeling bad I looked around at all the other feline tenants and wondered.
I stood looking as a fat yellow cat came up to me reached up and placed his paws on my leg.
There he stretched full length and purred.
I knew he was the one and I took him home that day not wanting to lose this one also.
That night as I sat meditating on my floor the fat yellow cat came and curled up in my lap.
He stayed there and in my heart for seven years.
One day I came home from work and found my best friend dying in the dirt.
His body covered in dirt mud and dry grass.
He was so damaged and so broken I could not at first tell what it was that I was seeing.
There in my car the realization hit me.
It was my fat yellow cat.
He had been hit on the road and for some unknown reason he had dragged himself home.
He lay there in pain and loyalty waiting for me before he would die.
Running inside my home I grabbed up a towel to wrap him and keep him warm.
His crying was terrible my touch the only thing that soothed his agony.
I had to drive him to the vet as fast as I could, taking my hand off him to steer the car.
Each time my touch left him he would howl, and my heart would sink.
My best friend left me that day and I was sinking in guilt,
for not being in the emergency room with him.
He was gone and now I had an empty form with no spirit to bury.
Time passed and he came and dreamed with me.
I missed him so much it hurt and he gave me such joy to remember about that fat yellow cat.
Now the other day I dreamed him again but he was gray and white and a girl.
I went out a few days later to the farm up the road.
A small fat grey kitten came up to me and looked me in the eye.
I saw his eyes looking back at me and knew that my friend had come back to me.
I had a little dream and her name is Dream.
She and I dream together just as we always have.

No part of this transcript can be copied or reproduced in any form without expressed written consent from the author Anthony P Pauly Jr.  © 2010